Thursday Thirteen – 13 Best Reasons to Own a French Bulldog

I’ve taken a certain amount of grief for a list I created for frenchbulldogz.org, called ‘Top Ten Reasons to NOT Own a French Bulldog‘. The list wasn’t created to be cruel, or for pointless reasons – it was created to help stop people from buying a Frenchie without understanding what they were getting themselves into.

That said, there are also a ton of really good reasons to consider a French Bulldog as a pet, so here are my thirteen personal favorites.

1. Low exercise needs = perfect pet for lazy people. OK, maybe that’s not a great reason to pick out a dog, but it’s realistic – if you’re not a jogger, you’re better off not getting a breed that requires hours and hours per day of intensive exercise. Frenchies will adjust their exercise needs to your preferences, although all Frenchies require at least two good walks per day.
2. Minimal barking. I’ve had a handful of really barky Frenchies in my life, but the most barking Frenchie on the planet pales in comparison to the average Jack Russel.
3. Soft ears make wonderful relaxation tools. Forget those destress squoosh balls – after a hard day, what you really need is to pet some Frenchie ears. They’re like warm, soft velvet.
4. Freckle bellies. There’s just something about a freckle belly that just demands rasberry kisses.
5. Big, brown, sensitive eyes. Yeah, I know – all dogs have them, but Frenchies know how to work those eyes. They have eerie hypno powers, and can enslave a mere human with a single glance.
6. Wiggle butts. The short stump tail of a Frenchie leads them to wiggle their entire butts when their happy. Nothing says ‘happy to see you!!’ like a wiggling butt.
7. Frog sits. I was amazed the firs time that someone from France accused me of calling French Bulldogs ‘Frog Dogs’ as a sort of ethnic slur against French culture. I’d always thought it was abundantly obvious why we call them Frog Dogs – it’s because of their distinctive, rear leg extended sit positions, which cause them to resemble nothing so much as a swimming frog. Frog sits rock.
8. Chicken leg sits. The other great sit position in the French Bulldog repertoire, the chicken drumstick sit is where your Frenchie sits with just their lower leg popped out behind them. It makes them look like they have fat little chicken drumsticks stuffed underneath them.
9. Snorking noises. Yes, I know – some of those noises aren’t cute, they’re the result of impaired breathing. That said, I have some of the best breathing Frenchies I know of, and they still manage to make the most adorable snorking, snuffling noises. We call it ‘pig latin’.
10. Frenchies make great listeners. No matter what I have to say, there’s always a Frenchie willing to sit and listen intently to me. Chances are, what they’re listening for are the words “Want a cookie?”, but I’ll take any audience I can get.
11. Three ring circus in every dog. French Bulldogs have been called ‘the Clown in the Cloak of a Philosopher’, and it’s a remarkably apt description. Those serious miens hide the soul of some seriously weird and wonderful dogs.
12. Big dogs in small bodies. Frenchies are the perfect dog for people like me, who usually prefer large breeds. I don’t want a shivery, shaky, nervous toy under foot – they’re too breakable for my taste. Frenchies are rough and tumble dogs – true bull and terrier breeds. They’re also one of the few small breeds even the most macho of men isn’t ashamed of walking.
13. Absolute adoration. It’s true that some Frenchies are utter sluts, willing to fling themselves at anyone who offers them a cookie. Every so often, however, you’ll encounter a Frenchie who adores you with such complete and total adoration that it’s both a privilege and a gift. Once you’ve experienced this kind of devotion, no other dog breed could possibly do.