Dear Mr. Obama – Leave the Frenchies Alone
Dear Mr. Obama:
I know you’re getting a lot of advice right now about what breed of dog to get for your kids, and I’ve seen a few news outlets suggest that you should consider getting a French Bulldog.
Mr. Obama, as a committed owner and breeder of French Bulldogs, I’d like to offer my own advice to you about your choice of dog – do NOT get a French Bulldog.
Look, I’m not saying this lightly — I have a lot of really, really good reasons why there is no way in hell you should even, for one minute, think of getting a Frenchie. Since I know that you’re a busy guy, I’ve organized them into bullet form for you:
- Perceived ‘sympathy for France’ will be bad for your image. France is still wildly unpopular with some Americans (remember the whole “Freedom Fries” fiasco?).
- Frenchies will ruin the White House carpets. Frenchies are notoriously, ridiculously hard to housebreak. Imagine the field day Fox News could have if, one month into office, Michelle has to order new carpets for the entire place?
- French Bulldogs are stubborn, tenacious, and difficult to train. Forget Barney nipping a reporter – your Frenchie will jump on, bark at, chase and otherwise paparazzi-ize every reporter within a five mile range. A badly trained dog might be used to insinuate you are unable to provide strong leadership – again with the Fox News opportunities.
- Frenchies are expensive, which could lead to charges that you’re elitist. In this time of economic crisis, no one needs that sort of analogy being made (probably by Fox News).
- King Edward owned a French Bulldog. This could lead to allegations you’re a closet Monarchist.
- Toulouse Lautrec owned a French Bulldog. This could lead to allegations you’re pro syphilitic alcoholics. Or even worse, pro Artist.
- French Bulldogs were favored pets of Parisian Prostitutes. This could lead to allegories about Kennedy and Clinton. Wait, that one might not be all bad. On the downside, you could be perceived as being pro Jimmy Swaggart.
- French Bulldogs chew stuff, and the White House has a lot of stuff that would be more expensive to replace than the pine broom closet my puppies just ate. If you think Neiman Marcus suits are expensive, try pricing an Oval Office desk.
The best reason for you to not get a French Bulldog, Mr. Obama? It’s because we don’t need the publicity. We’ve already got Ellen, and Martha, and slew of other celebs getting their faces splashed all over the newspapers, usually with dogs that they bought on a whim at a pet store. Our rescues are already swamped, our breed over run with poorly bred, badly tempered dogs that make all of us worry about the future of the dogs we love so much.
So, please Mr. Obama – don’t get a Frenchie. Get a shelter mutt — better still, a private rescue mutt. One of no determinate heritage (although it would be nice if there was a preponderance of Pit Bull in there, just for the good press in it for you and for Pitties in general). A nice little Pibble would be an asset to your kids and to your peace of mind (the world can be a scary place, and a Pit Bull has nice, broad shoulders for your family to lean on). Just don’t put lipstick on him or her, and it should all work out fine.
Just please, leave the Frenchies alone — we have enough problems as it is.
Brilliant. Couldn’t have put it better myself.
I surely do hope he doesn’t go nuts and buy a labradoodle or another “designer dog” for the big bucks. Can you imagine what this would do?
Vivianne’s last blog post..Potato Couch Eater (wha?)
I think you are safe – he has stated in interviews that he would like to adopt a dog from a shelter. To make you even more safe his older daughter has allergy issues which may make a rescue dog difficult but would also make a hairy, shed monster like a Frenchie off limits.
As the “Momma” of a Pibble (someday we hope to rescue a Frenchie), thank you for endorsing the adoption of a pitbull or some other shelter rescue. I certainly hope that Mr. Obama makes good on rescuing a dog. I wonder how Fox News would spin that;)
Anne K. in L.A.’s last blog post..The Adventures of Others
Wonderfully said.
I do hope he goes for a shelter dog… my neighborhood isn’t the best, and I shudder every morning when I lock up and leave for work. I run home at lunch to check the boy and walk him; and then I call at exactly 2:58 when the kids get in to make sure he is okay.
That’s all we need is the value/trendiness of Frenchies to go up… more thefts and ugh, more shelter/rescue issues.
RHz’s last blog post..People Ill From Bad Dog Food
I saw him on the news with the girls and the new puppy, it looked like a beagle or hound.
Hmmm just searched the web didn’t see anything about the puppy. I know I saw news footage of him and the girls, they had a beagle type on a leash and Obama was carrying a brown grocery bag. They looked like they were in front of a general store type of building.
Thanks for the pibble endorsement! I’d love to see a little Ernie in the white house. doG knows there are plenty of them in shelters across the nation…
Sarah’s last blog post..It was a fluke, he says
Brilliant post — although I’m not worried that the Obamas will get a dachshund (they aren’t stupid! lol), I do worry about what will happen if they select a purebred dog, even one from a shelter. That @#$#@ Disney chihuahua movie is bad enough…
Here ya go:
http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081111/od_nm/us_obama_dog_1
Can we take a minute and reflect here…we’re suggesting that the first Black President of the United States… get a pit bull. Don’t. Hold. Your. Breath. The image problem aside, D.C. ALREADY has a humongous problem with pibbles being overbred, poorly bred and abandoned. I’ve visited the D.C. shelters and seen them. The last thing the breed needs around here is to become trendy as well. Nice thought, but…
I’m going to go out on a limb here and say…Mr. Obama, get your little girls whatever kind of dog you see fit. Being a kid in the White House is never a walk in the park. Ask Amy Carter or Chelsea Clinton, for starters. You’re living under a microscope, you have zero privacy, and these guys in black sunglasses are always in your business. Those little girls didn’t ask to be elected. I put my trust in Obama to run the country, I think I can trust him to pick a dog for his kids. Oh, and I think it’s none of my darn business anyway.
Long winded diatribe over. Thanks for the bandwidth.
Susan
I told you before, Carol: you sould be a WRITTER!
Do you mind if I translate this letter in my blog? 🙂
Camilli Chamone’s last blog post..Fotos Gostosas do Nosso Dia-a-Dia
Absolutely why I wouldn’t recommend my little snugabugs – the popularity would be a killer in more ways than one.
And thumbs-up on the APBT suggestion. I said the same thing myself!
Caveat’s last blog post..WORLD OF HURT
This should Frenchy should convince you, http://www.muttvision.com
I know I’m yet again in the minority, but I think the last thing the pit bull breed needs right now is to end up in the spotlight yet again. The last thing the breed needs, as you’ve said about your own breed, is to become more popular.
Katie’s last blog post..AgilaMushroom
I was thinking more along the lines of restoring the breed’s image, which was that of the classic family pet in the US.
Plus, given the discrimination against owners of mutts and purebred APBTs perhaps if Obama, a constitutional lawyer and member of an oppressed minority himself got a nice pup it might turn the tide of public opinion.
Trust me, I have an ulterior, albeit altruistic, motive.
The APBT is the most popular purebred dog in the US. On average, 250,000 are registered annually. Labs, the next most popular, average 185,000 registrations per year. So popularity really isn’t an issue.
In Canada, these breeds are so rare most people have never seen them. There are fewer than 50 AmStaffs, about 250 APBTs and around 400 Staffords in the entire province of Ontario.
Caveat’s last blog post..SPEAKING OF STICKING TO ONE’S KNITTING
Check it out – Topk9s.com is doing a live stream on the national dog show through the whole event. – click here http://topk9s.com/National-Dog-Show-Video.aspx
To find it – they actually have two live streams running covering the whole thing. They are also taking in new legitimate breeders on their site. I hear they only have a few slots open.
Topk9s.com is awesome – they do checks on all the breeders listed, to make sure they are all real and legit, they will not allow anything to do with puppy mills on the site. They won’t even allow Google ads because Google ads promote puppy mills. My uncle just started listing with them and has had great results with their Great Dane puppies – The breeders listed are top in their breeds and some are even champions. We have really been impressed with how well our Great Dane puppy’s have been doing since we started listing with them.
Thanks for the great site Dave – we all appreciate what you have done for us breeders.