Chaos Ensues

Dexter is home, and boy – did I forget how much trouble a young, rambunctious, adolescent male who also has the ability to vault himself onto the backs of chairs can be! So far, he and Elliott have paid no attention to each other, which is likely because they have so many other things to pay attention to – namely a house full of girls in season.

Elliott is in an advanced state of Mc Lovin’ mode – any attempt to remove Bunny from the same room he’s in brings on the most heart breaking yodeling, in which he can clearly he heard to screech “I wurve you BunBun!” (or words to that effect).

Delilah, on the other hand, has advanced PMS, and isn’t taking her hormone fluctuations very well. We actually figured out she was in season after we watched her whirling around and snapping at her butt repeatedly, at which time we noticed the blood smears on her bed. “What the HELL IS WRONG WITH MY BUTT?”, she seemed to be saying, and she’s remained cranky ever since.

The fact that no one wants to pick her up and put her on their lap is being taken as an affront of epic proportions, and she’s spending a lot of time sulking behind the chair – which is also where she spent the first night Dexter came home. Delilah seemed absolutely stunned that we had allowed that stinky boy to come back home, and she promptly hid from him behind the chair, only coming out once he was safely crated, and then only so that she could bark at him furiously. We’ve tried explaining to her that behavior like this is what gets her ass whupped by other dogs, but she just barked at me and told me to put her upstairs with the rest of the humans, thanks.

Right now, she’s under the desk sitting on my feet, gazing up at me mournfully and trying to convince me that career dogs don’t have children. I’ve explained to her that in about a week, she’s going to really, really like Dexter a whole lot, but she has assured me that boys and motherhood are not what she has planned for herself, and could we please sell her to a nice, rich family with maid service and no other dogs.

Penelope, who’s also in season, is tolerating no crap from the boys, and in her usual fashion has already whirled on Dexter once and pinned his ass to the floor. He took this quite well, as most boys do, and Penelope wandered away muttering about “asshole men who think they’re so hot” under her breath. Uh huh, like I said – give it a week or so. I think Elliott is crossing off the days on a little calendar he has pinned to the wall.

With the way things went last year, I am pretty sure that a least half of the dogs I breed won’t take, but if they all do by some strange twist of fate we’ve made back up plans with a friend to help puppy sit. Bunny is a fabulous mother, but Penelope is the sort of mom who’d rather be out playing bingo, and Delilah – well, who knows? She’s a singleton, so has almost no dog skills to speak of, which won’t necessarily make her a bad mom, but which will make it all very interesting.