Chicken Crossings, Dog Trainer Style

Why did the chicken cross the road cartoon

Pavlov:
we fed the chicken on the opposite side of the road each day at 4-pm until the chicken’s autonomic system actually began causing the chicken to cross the road at 4-pm without even questioning ‘why’.

B.F. Skinner:
on prior occasions when the chicken voluntarily crossed the road,this behavior was followed immediately by a reinforcing consequence.

Barbara Woodhouse:
You just say, ‘Walkies’ with the right accent and place a crumpet on the far side.

Karen Pryor:
Associating R+ with road crossing and P- with standing still, with a VR schedule, and offering a reward in keeping with the Premack principle, we increased the intensity and frequency of the road crossing behavior.

Bill Koehler:
a few well-timed pops on the choke chain and the chicken was happy to cross the road.

Nicholas Dodman:
I gave the chicken fluoxetine, sertraline, paroxetine, carbamazepine, and azapirone, and then it was happy to cross the road.

Patti Ruzzo:
I crossed the road, pausing every step to spit a treat out of my mouth like a human pez-dispenser, and the chicken followed along catching the treats…

Electric Collar Advocate:
Whenever the chicken does not cross the road I give it an electric shock. But do not worry, the shock is no more than you would feel if you walked on a carpet wearing socks, and does not bother the chicken at all. The feathers standing up and the smell of burning flesh mean nothing. In fact, they are happier having nice clear communication than they would be otherwise.

Yuppie:
Chickens are just like little people in feather jackets, and if you love them and give them diamonds and feel sorry for them all the time, they will be happy to cross the road for you.

Paris Hilton:
Because I put it in a Gucci bag and carried it. (giggle)

Kill Shelter director:
Any chickens that do not cross the road will be euthanized for their own good, and the others we will adopt-out tomorrow for only $200 each. Please send us money so we can keep doing more of this important work!

No Kill Shelter Director:

We’re open from 8 am to 8 pm,  seven days per week,  to better help all chickens get homes. No need to cross the road – we and the needy chickens will cross the road to get to. Chicken crossing donations are based on ability to pay, and you receive a free one pound sack of chicken feed with every chicken you help cross the road.

HSUS member:
I do not know anything about animals, I have never been around animals and am not really fond of animals, but we passed a law mandating that chickens be kept without cages because animals belong only in the wild and cannot be happy coexisting with man, so now they are walking wherever they want.

PETA member:
Chickens have the right to live in world without roads. Any chicken that lives within a hundred miles of a road is suffering an inhumane existence and might eventually be hit by a car, so we should kill it today to ensure that it does not die tomorrow.

Friday Zen – Morrissey Loves Black Bears

80s alt/new wave Musician Morrissey (along with a host of other celebs) is asking the UK Government to end the long standing tradition of using North American black bear skin to make the distinctive hats worn by the Buckingham Palace Guardsmen.

Stella McCartney, Vivienne Westwood and several other British designers have offered up alternative design suggestions for the tall, black fur caps which have been worn by the Queen’s Guard since 1815.

I’m all in favor of less trapping of black bears for use as stupid looking fur hats, but the mind reels at the idea of what kind of hat Vivienne Westwood might have in mind for the poor beleaguered Guardsmen, who already have to contend with idiotic tourists trying to break their concentration.

Queens Guardsmen give Vivienne Westwood designed hats a trial run

Queens Guardsmen give Vivienne Westwood designed hats a trial run, report that hats 'led to reduced mocking incidents, lessened urge to smack tourists in the head with bayonet'

In any case, this post has all pretty much just been an excuse to go looking for a video of the Smiths doing one of my favorite songs, “How Soon is Now?” (which allows me to counter Sean’s ‘please for the love of God stop playing that song’, with  ” I have to listen to it – It’s for my WRITING“).

Thanks, internet, for making time wasting something I can excuse as semi-work related!

Hero Pit Bulls Save Chihuahua

Buster was saved from a coyote attack by two hero Pit Bulls

Buster the Chihuahua Terrier mix is lucky to be alive after surviving a vicious Coyote attack – and it’s all thanks to a pair of protective Pit Bulls.

From Denver Channel 7 News:

“He woke me up at 6:30 to do his thing. I let him out and I came out with him,” said Jodi Robinette of Littleton. “And about a minute later, he screamed like I’ve never heard an animal scream.”

Robinette ran after Buster and the coyote behind her home at 949 West Peakview Circle near Angeline Little Greenway Park.

“And right when I came around this corner, the coyote had my dog in his mouth, shaking him as he was running,” she said. “And then, I see the coyote at the very middle of this field drop my dog.”

Choking back tears, owner Robinette explained that the coyote dropped her dog because it was under attack by her neighbour’s Pit Bulls.

As for the pit bulls – they scared off the coyote and then protected Buster under a bush.

“They were circling him and sitting by him. Making sure he was all right,” said Robinette.

The attack occurred in Littleton, Colorado. Buster has some serious injuries, including lacerations and a collapsed lung, but he’s expected to make a full recovery.

Dollar Store Dog Buys

It was a long weekend here in Canada (don’t ask me why – this one doesn’t celebrate anything more special than “Hey, doesn’t everybody agree we all need an extra long weekend during the summer?”). Like all good Canadians, I kicked off my weekend with a trip to our local dollar store, but I wasn’t there to stock up on flip flops and plastic pool toys – I was there to shop for the dogs. Dollar stores can be a surprisingly well stocked source of pet supplies, at stupidly cheap prices – it’s all about knowing what to look for.

Here’s my top ten list of Dollar Store Dog Buys, all of which should be available at any well stocked Dollar or Discount store.

Epsom Salts

As Patty Khuly recently wrote on Fully Vetted, Epsom Salts are something of a wonder substance.

They take down swelling from bruised or injured tissue, with no drugs. If the injury is on the legs or lower body, stand the dog in a chest high bath of epsom salt infused water. If it’s not possible to reach the injured area in this way, soak a towel or absorbent pad in epsom salts and water, and apply to skin.

Epsom Salts actually pull water into the body, which means soaking an overheated dog in a chest deep bath of lukewarm epsom salt infused water can actually help to both cool and to slightly rehydrate them.

We soak interdigital cysts in epsom salts, to take down swelling and redness. Stand your dog with all four feet in a shallow pan of epsom salt infused water for ten minutes, and repeat two to three times per day until cyst is healed.

Sardines

Sardines are one of nature’s super foods. A single sardine is loaded with Omega 3s, protein and more calcium than a six ounce glass of milk. Because sardines have such a short life span, they’re free of some of the heavy metals which can be found in other ocean fish, and they’re also one of our oceans most renewable food sources.

A single can, packed in water or oil, usually holds five or six whole sardines.Water packed is better than oil, if you’re watching calories, but oil packed can be a great calorie boost for dogs who need it.

Feed sparingly – they’re so rich they can cause loose stools if fed too generously. I add a single sardine as a topper for the dogs’ food, once or twice per week.

Cheap emergency collars and leads

In the back of each of my cars I keep a ‘K9 Ready Box’ – poop bags, water dishes, bottled water, snacks, collars and leads. I’ve also started keeping a few extra, cheap dollar store leads on hand, along with collars in a few sizes.

I don’t see a lot of stray dogs in my area, but when I do, it tends to be close to major roads or highways. Nothing is worse than trying to grab a panicked dog without having a collar to slip over their head and a leash to attach them to. I don’t mind using my good collars and leads, but they’re expensive, and while the shelters will sometimes return them, they don’t always, so having cheap ones on hand makes it less painful when I forget to get my good ones returned.

Stainless steel dog dishes

No matter what type of food you feed your dog, you really should be feeding them out of a stainless steel dish. Easy to clean, easy to sterilize and non porous, steel bowls are also inexpensive, unless you really *must* have the ones with the fancy raised pattern around the edges.

I keep extras in my car, for water dishes and emergencies. They also make a great donation to your local shelter, along with some of the collars and leads I mention above.

White Vinegar

White vinegar is a miracle worker. Dilute twenty to one, and use as a rinse for stinky dogs after you bathe them. It leaves them smelling fresh and clean, and unlike heavy conditioners and cream rinses, it doesn’t attract more dirt.

When washing dog beds and blankets, add a cup of white vinegar to the rinse cycle, for a great deodorant and disinfectant. As an added bonus, it will help to get rid of hard water build up from your machine.

Speaking of hard water, soak water bowls in white vinegar to descale them. You can also run a cup through your coffee maker, to accomplish the same thing, and vinegar and water in a spray bottle cleans counter tops and leaves them shiny.

Joy Lemon Dish Soap

Does your dog come home from the groomer’s smelling fresher and looking cleaner than you can ever seem to get them at home? You probably think it’s the ‘special’ groomer’s formula shampoo they use at the salon – which makes it even more surprising to learn that the ‘shampoo’ most old school groomers swear by is Joy Lemon dish soap.

Diluted with water twenty to one, Joy makes a great degreasing soap, gives dogs a fresh, clean smell and rinses out with no residue that attracts more dirt. Best of all, it’s $1 per small bottle, instead of $10 per bottle like most fancy grooming shampoos.

Soft White Bar Soap

What you’re looking for here is a bar of basic, cheap white soap. What you’re going to use it for the times when you accidentally ‘quick’ your dog’s nails while you’re trimming them.

Blot the bleeding nail, then press firmly into a slightly dampened bar of soft white soap. Hold in place for a few seconds, repeat if needed. The soap forms a clot over the cut area, stings less than styptic powder and also acts as a mild disinfectant.

Zinc Baby Cream

No one who owns flat, wrinkly faced dogs should be without this wonder substance. In Canada, the trade name I look for is Penaten, which comes in a flat tin. What you need, no matter the trade name, is the heavy, thick, sticky paste-like zinc cream, not the light lotion types.

To prevent tear stains, lightly coat the area under the eyes and along the wrinkle with zinc paste – it coats the hair and prevents it from being stained, it coats the skin and makes it waterproof and stain resistant, and it’s soothing.

In other skin folds and wrinkles, apply zinc to keep the skin dry and prevent irritation. It’s also gentle enough to use on skin that’s already irritated, although you shouldn’t use it if the skin is broken.

If your puppies have been suffering from diarrhea, the area just under their tail and around their bottom can get red and sore. Apply zinc cream to this area to soothe sore skin, to prevent further irritation and to stop ‘crusty’ poo from adhering to skin or hair.

Corn Starch

Brush corn starch into the coat of your white dog, and you’ll get a thicker, lusher, whiter looking coat.

For wrinkling that doesn’t need the full on assault of zinc cream, corn starch will keep wrinkles dry and odorless. Corn starch is more absorbent than baby powder, and with less irritants. Plus, you really don’t need your dog’s face to smell like baby butt.

If your dog was skunked weeks ago, but the smell lingers on, liberally apply corn starch through the coat, leave to sit and absorb odors, brush out well, and then re wash dog (using a white vinegar rinse).

Cinnamon

Like garlic, cinnamon is reputed to be surefire flea repellent. Like sardines, it’s also reputed to be a super food (or “super spice”, in this case). Some of cinnamon’s reputed health benefits:

Studies have shown that just 1/2 teaspoon of cinnamon per day can lower LDL cholesterol.

Several studies suggest that cinnamon may have a regulatory effect on blood sugar, making it especially beneficial for people with Type 2 diabetes.

In some studies, cinnamon has shown an amazing ability to stop medication-resistant yeast infections.

In a study published by researchers at the U.S. Department of Agriculture in Maryland, cinnamon reduced the proliferation of leukemia and lymphoma cancer cells.

It has an anti-clotting effect on the blood.

In a study at Copenhagen University, patients given half a teaspoon of cinnamon powder combined with one tablespoon of honey every morning before breakfast had significant relief in arthritis pain after one week and could walk without pain within one month.

When added to food, it inhibits bacterial growth and food spoilage, making it a natural food preservative.

One study found that smelling cinnamon boosts cognitive function and memory.

Researchers at Kansas State University found that cinnamon fights the E. coli bacteria in unpasteurized juices.

Here’s a Dog Cookie recipe with all the health benefits of honey and cinnamon. Whip up a batch of these cinnamon infused dog treats, using ingredients found at any dollar store (other than the liver). I can’t promise they’ll keep fleas away, but your dog will love them, and you’ll love getting cinnamon scented kisses of thanks.

Cinnamon Liver Bits

This works well if you want a dry treat that won’t leave any residue. After it’s cooked in the microwave and cut up into bite-size bits, the trick to drying it out is the last step.

· 1 lb. chicken liver
· 1 cup graham cracker crumbs
· 3 tablespoons honey
· ¼ cup dried parsley
· 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon

Place all ingredients in the bowl of food processor. Process until smooth. Pour into a microwaveable container, approximately 8″ square or round. Microwave on high until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. This takes 7 minutes in my microwave, but your mileage may vary. When cooked, turn out of pan immediately, allow the bottom to dry since it will be damp from condensation, and cut into squares while still warm.

Spread bits on a foil-lined cookie sheet and bake at 200° for 1.5 hours.

Freeze or refrigerate.

What about you? Do you have a cheap dollar store style dog staple you can’t live without, or a home remedy you swear by? Share it with us!

Bring Rocket Bubba Home

An update from the Rocket Bubba Facebook page —

..it seems that Rocket will be going home soon. The two Animal Rescue Organizations contacted me and are working together. The total amount raised in 8 days….Drums please!!!! $3,300.00 dollars. YEAHHH I will be removing the Paypal link since I believe “YOU”VE DONE IT”. More here.

Rocket Bubba needs help getting home from Afghanistan

Rocket Bubba needs help getting home from Afghanistan

Here’s something fascinating, from the same Facebook page – a list of the countries that made paypal donations:

United States  — 544.
Canada–26.
Brazil–24.
United Kingdom–14.
Australia–4.
Germany–3.
Afghanistan–2.
Argentina–2.
Belgium–2.
Chile–2.
Greece–2.
South Korea–2.
Austria–1.
Colombia–1.
Denmark–1.
France–1.
Israel–1.
India–1.
Iraq–1.
Kuwait–1.

Rocket’s story:

In Afghanistan, a convoy of soldiers driving on the infamous IED Highway discovered a two week old puppy lying near the body of its dead mother. Ignoring the possible danger to themselves (insurgents have used the bodies of dead animals as hiding spots for IEDs), the convoy pulled over and scooped up the puppy.

He wasn’t expected to live, but the round the clock care of soldiers in the platoon not only allowed him to survive, but to thrive. Now named Rocket Bubba, the little spotted dog is five months old, and the favorite pet and mascot of the entire base.

Unfortunately, Rocket Bubba’s days are now numbered. From the Rocket Bubba Facebook page:

Not long ago, the unit that I was with for almost a year left and a new one arrived. They immediately took in Rocket, but the new command staff of the base newly arrived, did not like the idea of the animal in the base. Many soldiers have spoken and attempted to express the benefits of having Rocket, and how it boosts the moral of most, but all in vain. The order was received to put him to sleep. Our sister base nearby that falls under the same command has received the same order and last week, had all the dogs put to sleep at night while soldiers were sleep to avoid confrontation.

Rocket’s days are numbered, I was able to receive permission with the help of many soldiers from different units to keep Rocket until September when I will go on leave, but told that if when I leave, I do not take him, that he will be “euthanized”.

The only way to save Rocket Bubba’s life is to help the soldiers of his base raise the $3500 required to get him out of Afghanistan and back to the US, where he has a home waiting for him. I think its the least we can do, for Rocket Bubba and for the men and women he’s meant so much to.

Watch Rocket Bubba’s video, after the cut.

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